Mistake Me Not Read online

  ‘I would have been happy to get out,’ she said reaching for her seatbelt to stop herself from looking at him.

  ‘It’s not safe out there on a highway like this.’

  ‘You went out in it.’

  ‘I’m not safe either,’ he said and managed to get them across and onto the shoulder much quicker than she would have.

  They trundled down the shoulder at a steady but slow pace until they were on the exit slipway and free.

  The steakhouse was next to a rest stop. Both of them ordered and ate while maintaining conversation throughout the meal. He’d told her about some cases he’d worked, keeping the details vague, and she’d laughed at his stories. The fact that she accepted everything he’d said brought him to the conclusion that Sorcha hadn’t disclosed too much about Sheppard’s life. At his mental reminder of the misidentification, Ryder stopped laughing at the joke she’d been telling about her aunt and the strawberry stain.

  ‘Are you ok?’ Lacie asked covering his hand with her own. The air crackled, and he found himself once again cataloguing her every nuance and expression. ‘Did I upset you?’

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘Sorry, I was thinking about something else.’

  ‘Is it because I mentioned Sorcha?’ she asked. ‘Oh I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.’

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘It’s nothing about Sorcha. I’m over that.’

  ‘You’re over Sorcha?’

  ‘Yeah,’ he said cringing internally at the lie knowing that he’d tried his best to avoid further deceit.

  ‘You don’t have to hide,’ she said with such sympathy it made the dinner he’d just eaten threaten to reappear. ‘It’s ok. Sorcha and I have been friends for almost a decade. I’ve seen how losing her affects men like you.’

  ‘Like me?’ he asked jumping on her own previous question.

  ‘Yes,’ she said unfazed. ‘You’re a good looking man, you obviously have confidence, and strength, and a natural ability.’

  ‘A natural ability for what?’

  ‘Drawing women in,’ she said. ‘Men like you are used to being coveted. It stings when someone rejects you, especially when that someone is Sorcha.’

  ‘You think a lot of your friend.’

  ‘I do,’ she said sipping from the beer she’d ordered. ‘She’s beautiful, and poised, and everything any man would look for. She deserves love,’ Lacie said fidgeting with the corner of the napkin left on the table. ‘She’s spent all this time looking for it and...’

  ‘And?’ he asked sensing the depth behind what Lacie wasn’t saying.

  ‘Nothing,’ she said pasting a false smile on her face. ‘Should we get back on the road?’

  ‘It’s late now. We’re another couple of hours drive from the next address. Your friend likely won’t be awake when we get there. I also can’t guarantee what the roads will be like. Anyone avoiding the Interstate will be—‘

  ‘On the road we’ll want. Ok.’

  ‘I’ll take you home,’ he said sliding to the end of the booth while taking his wallet from his back pocket.

  ‘I’ll get this,’ she said snatching up her own bag. ‘It’s not fair that you should cover expenses incurred while—‘

  ‘I had fun,’ he said opening his wallet to pull out the bills needed to cover the cost of the meal. ‘This wasn’t business.’ Her mouth opened, but from the way her eyes searched, he knew she had nothing to say. ‘Are you ready?’

  On leaving the booth, she automatically hooked her hand into his elbow and let him lead her outside to the truck. Now that they were used to the zing that occurred at physical contact he got to like it. More than that he liked that she wasn’t afraid of it, or caught off-guard by it anymore either.

  ‘There’s a motel here,’ she said pointing to the end of the lot where there was a neon sign. ‘Why don’t we stay there?’

  ‘I like a woman who’s direct,’ he said making her smile glitter again.

  An ease had formed between them. Neither of them was unaware of the other nor had they dwelled on his last comment in the restaurant, which was good because he’d meant it.

  ‘I’ll pay for your room,’ she said. ‘It will save us waking up and starting the journey from scratch again. There was no point in driving this far just to turn back.’

  ‘If that’s what you want.’

  ‘Do you have other business?’ she asked. He adjusted trajectory to head for the motel. ‘I would be happy to speak to your girlfriend and make her aware of the situation. I wouldn’t want her to worry.’

  ‘I don’t live with a girlfriend.’

  ‘Of course not,’ she said shaking her head. ‘Do you live alone?’

  ‘I live with my partner actually,’ he said then wanted to kick himself because he was supposed to be Sheppard, at least that’s who she thought he was.

  ‘Oh,’ she said and he didn’t have to look at her to know she was smiling again.

  ‘Oh what?’

  ‘Nothing,’ she said but her free hand came up to cover her mouth as she averted her gaze to her feet.

  ‘You can’t say that with that look on your face and not explain yourself.’

  ‘Sorry,’ she said but let him halt her on the paving in the shadow of the motel office wall.

  ‘Tell me.’

  ‘I just...’ she said looking from left to right. ‘It kind of explains something that’s all.’

  ‘Kind of explains what?’

  ‘You’re handsome, and you have draw, and...’

  ‘What?’ he demanded.

  ‘Promise not to get angry?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘Tell me, and then we’ll see.’

  ‘Sorcha mentioned the uh... the difficulty that you two had in bed, and I suppose if you don’t swing that way—‘

  ‘Difficulty in bed?’ he barked.

  ‘Don’t be offended,’ Lacie said putting a hand to his chest and looking at him with that sympathy again. ‘Your sexuality is your business, and if you were going to test your heterosexuality with anyone Sorcha would be the prime candidate. Any man who isn’t pleased by her must have an underlying reason.’

  Sheppard hadn’t pleased Sorcha. Now the woman who’d plagued his mind, and his pants, all night believed he was gay and lousy in the sack. As Ryder formulated a response, his impatient body took over and stepped closer to urge her against the concrete motel-office wall. Her gasp brought her chin up which gave him the chance to capture her inhale with his mouth.

  Her lips parted in the surprise of the moment, and he used the opportunity to sweep his tongue against hers. Her rigid body relaxed at the same time those fingers on his chest curled into the cotton of his tee-shirt. This was primal, all instinct, hot and wet, their mouths danced, testing texture, taste, resistance.

  One of his hands went to the wall above her head and he pressed his weight to hers earning him a desperate mew. That delectable little body pushed up so he crouched to meet her unspoken demand, which brought them nearer to each other, and whatever had crackled combusted. A growl rumbled from within him making him push deeper; lips, tongues, teeth clamoured in desperation to mate, to be joined, and never parted.

  ‘Get a room!’

  Someone nearby laughed. Ryder tore himself back shamed at taking her so thoroughly in such a shadowy, squalid setting. The trouble was his eyes wouldn’t focus, and the hand he had above her head against the wall wasn’t enough to keep him upright. So he planted the other one against her waist, and some of her weight shifted to him. He realised that although his body still pinned hers she was as in need of an anchor as he was. Blinking his eyes back to reality he sought those plump, pillowy lips now red and swollen after his attack. Gritting his teeth he tried to quell the animal in him that wanted to complete the transaction here and now. Her eyes weren’t open yet, she was suspended as though in wait for part two.

  Sliding his hand from the wall he touched her cheek with the back of his fingers but obviously she was having as much trouble as him with re-entry to rea
lity.

  ‘I want to have sex with you,’ she whispered.

  His shoulders straightened and he wondered if he hadn’t fallen somewhere, hit his head, and fallen into his perfect fantasy – if he had he didn’t want to wake up.

  ‘I like honesty in a woman,’ he said still stroking her face, his other hand slid up her waist hooking his hand behind her shoulder against the wall, drawing her into his arms.

  ‘That’s bad,’ she murmured and her eyes popped open stricken with grief and horror.

  ‘Baby, it’s ok.’

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘No, it’s not.’

  ‘It’s ok.’

  Keeping her body trapped between his and the wall was an attempt to keep them both grounded with something solid because right now he was floating with her. His entire universe became about those wide green eyes, and the silent whispers from those engorged lips.

  His mind and his body hadn’t reengaged communication because he lowered his head and kissed her again. Softly, hiding the passion that bubbled between them, she needed comfort, and some kind of reassurance. She let him kiss her like that, like a boyfriend who’d kissed her a million times before, as though it was the most normal thing in the world for him to press his lips to her and give her support.

  ‘This has never happened to me,’ she confessed and his hand moved from her face to her hair. The impulse to touch her was automatic; it was so all encompassing that he was overwhelmed with the urge just to be, just to exist with this woman.

  ‘It’s ok,’ he said again. ‘We’ll take our time.’

  ‘No,’ she said shaking her head. ‘No. We can’t. But... you don’t understand.’

  ‘Tell me,’ he said letting his lips touch her temple, her brow, her hairline.

  ‘I’ve never wanted to go to bed with a man before,’ she said. ‘I’ve never...’

  His hand was still on the wall hooked behind her shoulder, he shifted it further around her to pillow her head against his knuckles rather than the concrete wall, and it had the added bonus of bringing her chest more flush with his.

  ‘Are you telling me you’ve never—?‘

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘I’ve had sex. I just... it’s been something they’ve wanted.’

  ‘You’ve never felt desire? Passion for a partner?’ he asked.

  She shook her head. Her silken hair rubbed his knuckles so he parted them to let the strands tickle between his digits.

  ‘I’m flattered,’ he said. ‘I’ve known it since the moment I met you.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘That I want to take you to bed.’

  ‘That’s why it’s so sad,’ she said blinking those imploring eyes.

  ‘Sad,’ he said. ‘It’s not sad. I’m not only interested in using you for sex if that’s what you think.’

  ‘That’s not what I think.’

  ‘I’m not gay—‘

  ‘I noticed,’ she whispered.

  She managed a smile then drew her lower lip between her teeth, which made him want to mimic the action.

  ‘I’m not involved.’

  ‘We can never... I can’t believe the first time I start to understand what all the fuss is about and it’s... never mind.’

  Pressuring her palms to his chest, she wanted him to release her, but he wasn’t ready to move yet.

  ‘We don’t have to jump straight in the sack,’ he said. ‘This feeling won’t go away. It’ll get better with the more time we spend together. We can get to know each other properly, and then see where this goes.’

  ‘You’re trying to look after me,’ she said relaxing her arms again. ‘Why do you do that?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Look after me,’ she said. ‘You buy me dinner. You won’t let me out of the car on the road because it’s dangerous. You went to check out the block before we went inside, and you wouldn’t give me the addresses in case they were dangerous. Why do you look after me?’

  ‘You’re special to me,’ he said. ‘Don’t ask me to explain it because I can’t. You’re hard on yourself, but you see the best in people. I have a feeling you’ve been used to standing on your own two feet for a while. You’re not used to deferring to anyone. You look after yourself, and yet... there’s an innocence about you, you let people take advantage of you far too easily.’

  ‘It’s such a cruel irony,’ she said then took a deep breath further crushing her breasts against his chest.

  ‘Irony?’

  ‘That the one man I finally find myself interested in isn’t available.’

  ‘I’m available Baby,’ he said.

  ‘Not to me.’

  ‘Because of Bruce?’

  ‘Bru... no, not because of him.’

  ‘You don’t have to be scared of me,’ he said. ‘I’ll prove myself. You don’t have to take Sorcha’s...’ and just like that he understood. ‘You won’t date me,’ he said, and she shook her head. ‘Because of Sorcha.’

  ‘She’s my best friend,’ Lacie said. ‘It’s late.’

  She eased him away, and he couldn’t do a thing to stop her. If he told her the truth now she’d run a mile for sure, and she probably wouldn’t believe him because if Sheppard had been here now instead of him Ryder would guarantee that Sheppard would lie – he’d say anything to get a woman he wanted in bed. The thought had Ryder clenching his fists. An uncharacteristic flare of rage bolted through him. Normally he’d just avoid Sheppard, and usually he felt more shame for the loser than anger. Sheppard played women but he didn’t discriminate. Shep would play anyone to better his own ends.

  ‘I’m going to get a room and take a long bath,’ she said. ‘Will I see you here in the morning?’

  ‘I’m not going to ditch you.’

  He took his keys from his pocket and held them towards her, but she only looked at them. Taking her hand from her side, he dropped the keys to her palm then curled her fingers around them. Ryder edged in the direction of the motel-office door.

  ‘I’ll go in and get two rooms next to each other,’ he said.

  ‘No one knows we’re here. I hardly think there will be any trouble—‘

  ‘People don’t expect trouble,’ he said. ‘Do you know where you are? Do you know the area?’

  ‘Well, no but—‘

  ‘I don’t know it well enough,’ he said. ‘I’ll get the rooms.’

  ‘No, I’ll get my—‘

  ‘It’s covered,’ he said going for the office door but she kept his hand.

  ‘You’re doing it again.’

  ‘What?’ he asked pleased to see her discomfort leaving and her smile return.

  ‘Looking after me.’

  He brought the petal soft skin of her knuckles up to his lips. ‘Stay in the window where I can see you.’

  Chapter Three

  The following morning she had just put her feet in her shoes when there was a knock on the door. Hooking her bag over her head she opened it to see her companion holding a white tee-shirt and a cardboard tray with two cups bearing a coffee shop logo.

  ‘You brought coffee,’ Lacie said. His eyes were covered with reflective aviators but his lips turned upward.

  ‘Do you want one?’

  Moving backward she let him into her motel room then closed the door behind him. ‘Thanks. Were you paying enough attention at dinner to remember how I take my coffee?’

  ‘Just milk,’ he said. ‘I’m a detective.’

  ‘True.’

  ‘You shouldn’t do that,’ he said setting the tray on the unit by the TV.

  ‘Do what?’ she asked taking the cup he’d twisted from the tray for her.

  ‘Open the door when you don’t know who is on the other side of it.’

  ‘You’re the only person who knows I’m here.’

  ‘Which should make you more careful,’ he replied.

  ‘I think if you were going to attack me you’d have done it last night.’

  ‘I sort of did,’ he said. ‘But anyone seeing you walk in here knows you’re
here. You don’t have to know them personally for them to want to get in here.’

  ‘You were just through the wall. What’s the tee-shirt for?’ she asked noticing that the tee-shirt he wore today was charcoal instead of the black he’d worn last night.

  ‘I didn’t know if you’d want to change today,’ he said holding it toward her.

  ‘You bought it for me?’

  ‘I didn’t buy it for you. I always have a few essentials in the truck.’

  ‘You want me to wear your tee-shirt?’

  ‘Your call,’ he said then reached behind him into his back pocket to produce a still sealed toothbrush.

  ‘You are prepared aren’t you,’ she said taking the brush. ‘Will you wait for me?’

  When he nodded she went toward the bathroom but paused when she had a thought. Sure enough when she picked up her purse the truck keys he’d handed her last night were still there. Holding them in her palm she spun to present them to him with the question in her countenance.

  ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Quite a novelty breaking into your own vehicle but I appreciated the chance to polish my skills.’

  ‘You could have come here for them.’

  ‘That would’ve taken the sheen off my generosity.’

  She tutted and threw them to him, he caught them without thought. ‘I’ll be two minutes.’

  They got on the road not long later, and stopped briefly at Ihop for takeaway breakfast, which he’d been grateful for though he’d noted most of the women he knew didn’t eat breakfast, and she wasn’t sure if she should take that as an insult or not.

  The day was glorious, sun baked through the windscreen and white fluff-ball clouds meandered across the blanket of blue behind them.

  ‘It has rained every day this month,’ she said. ‘I wonder why today is so glorious.’

  ‘Maybe it’s the company,’ he said, which earned him a smile.

  ‘We should put on some music,’ she said. ‘Do you have any CD’s?’

  ‘CD’s,’ he said. ‘What century are we in? My iPod is in the duffel bag behind my seat.’