Remember When... Read online

  “Well doctors are bound by confidentiality, so they would not announce who their patient was anyway,” Guinness said. “Especially if they were told that you were in some kind of danger or not to be declared for your own safety. And they may have been assured that the issue was in hand.”

  “Even if the patient was a missing person?” Ginger asked.

  “They would inform the police,” Guinness said. “If there was a report made… did anyone report that a Jane Doe had been found?”

  Ginger couldn’t remember talking to police, but she’d been unconscious when she was found and even after she woke up, she was out of it for the first few days. “I… I don’t know. I can’t remember.”

  “I suppose I could request all of your medical records,” Guinness said. “I was brought in for my expertise in amnesia, I only read the psychological report… We had never met before your husband came into your life.”

  Shane jumped on that. “Yeah, you’re a new doctor,” he said. “Funny that Bishop chose to call up the amnesia expert after we were back in her life. Why did he get rid of all the old docs, huh? Worried one of them might flip sides? If he’s offered them a tasty sum, I can double it, what do you think I’ll get for that? The truth?”

  Ginger didn’t find this side of him attractive, at all. “Why are you being like this?” she asked. “Why can’t you just accept that I’m happy? You said that’s what you wanted.”

  “Because I don’t believe he does make you happy. You’re not happy with him like you were with me… you’re not in love, not with him.”

  That was about as subtle as a freight train. “Oh, so I’m in love with you?”

  The position of being side by side made it more difficult to see each other, maybe that was why it was so easy for him to spout this drivel. Except he wasn’t shy. “Yeah,” Shane said, twisting around to look at her. “As a matter of fact, you are. You’re just denying it to be stubborn… ‘cause that’s what my Ginger is like. Maybe his Ginger is different, but my Ginger likes arguing. She likes making her point. Likes making me work for it. She enjoys teasing and playing…” He glowered at her. “And for damn sure, my Ginger wouldn’t be afraid to sign anything without my permission. She’d sign it, flutter her eyelashes at me later, and I’d find a way to work everything out.”

  How could he be glib at a time like this? “We’re talking about the life of our child.”

  “Yes,” he snapped. “Exactly! Our child. Cam is nothing to him… why should you have to ask that fucking snake’s permission? He hasn’t had anything to do with Cam. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fucking fine with that, I don’t want the prick anywhere near my son. But it does kind of limit his right to have any input in Cam’s upbringing.”

  The doctor explained, “But if Calvin is going to be a part of Cameron’s life, you will have to get used to him being present. He’ll be at Cameron’s birthday parties, he’ll be part of decisions that Ginger makes throughout her life.”

  Shane threw up his hands. “Weren’t either of you listening? We can’t let him make decisions about Cameron! He kept the truth of who Ginger was a secret! He wrecked all of our lives! Kept me away from my child! For months! I lost my wife and my son! I spent a fortune trying to find them! I can’t get those early days of Cam’s life back and who knows? Maybe if the fucking snake had been honest and I’d gotten to Gin sooner, she could’ve got the proper care and she wouldn’t be suffering now!”

  A mumble on the monitor broke the tense moment. Then Cam grumbled and called out, “Ma! Mama! Da! Dadeeee!”

  They all blinked at the monitor. “I have to go to him,” she said and stood up. “Finish your session, Shane. All of this is confidential…” Ginger stepped over Shane’s legs to head for the door. That was another thing about him, he always managed to get in her way. All the time he was just there. Always just… there. “I wouldn’t even know how to…” With her hand on the door handle, she paused. “Did you say any of this to Calvin?”

  “All of it,” Shane said and she couldn’t believe how blatant he was in his lack of shame or remorse.

  “God, Shane,” she hissed and growled. “Well don’t say it again, either of you, this is… enough, ok? Just… enough.”

  Leaving the bedroom, Ginger had to steel herself before she went to her son. Shane could be a larger than life character, but he’d never seemed… unstable. These accusations were insane and she couldn’t even begin to think about how to process them.

  16

  Taking Cam from his crib, she changed his diaper, then took him and Rocky for a walk. By the time she returned to the back porch, she was much calmer. At least she was until Owen came out the back door flapping his arms around.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, hurrying up to him.

  “Everyone is out,” Owen said. “Shane and I can’t go into Calvin’s room, he’ll accuse us of stealing or something.”

  “I don’t understand what—”

  “The cufflinks,” he said. “We need the cufflinks.”

  Was that all? She was worried someone had got hurt or something. “Oh,” Ginger said and put the brake on the stroller. “Take Cam out of his seat and bring him inside, I’ll run up and get them.”

  Shane would have to leave like now if he was going to make it to the airport to pick up Julianna. Ginger’s head was clearer now that it had been earlier, she should have retrieved the cufflinks before going out for her walk. She should’ve asked Calvin’s permission to take them too, but he’d be working at the lodge, so there was no time to find him to ask now.

  Running upstairs, Ginger saw that Shane’s bedroom door was open a few inches, but she didn’t seek him out. The last thing they needed was to delay him further by fighting more. And fighting seemed to be the only thing they excelled at together.

  Ginger went straight into Calvin’s bedroom and to the dresser where she knew his cufflinks would be. He had a chunky leather box that he kept all his accessories in while travelling. There was a spot for his watch, for cufflinks, and other compartments for knick-knacks. Placing it on top of the dresser, Ginger popped open the lid and lifted out the internal tray that showcased his cufflinks.

  Once, a while ago, she’d heard the box rattle, and Calvin had told her that he kept his less-used items beneath this tray in a secret space.

  It made sense to give Shane a less important pair of cufflinks from somewhere Calvin didn’t often check. Calvin would be less likely to miss them and she didn’t want to risk giving Shane anything too valuable. If she gave Shane the most expensive pair, not that she knew how much these things cost, and he lost them, there would be hell to pay. Though she didn’t believe for a second that he’d do something like that on purpose.

  Tipping the box over onto its side, Ginger dug around at the cufflinks that fell out and picked a discreet pair that she had given Calvin for his birthday a few months ago, under Diane’s instruction. Calvin never wore this pair anyway, so she didn’t think he’d notice them missing.

  With the cufflinks in her palm, Ginger began to put the other scattered items away. The last thing she picked up was a small dark velvet pouch. Curious about what was in it and if there might be a better pair of cufflinks for Shane, she loosened the drawstring and upended the bag.

  But it wasn’t cufflinks that were inside.

  There were two rings resting on the heel of her hand. One had a brilliant square cut solitaire set on what had to be platinum because it matched the narrow plain band of the second ring and both were heavy.

  Why would there be two rings in a pouch she’d never seen? The tip of her thumb slipped inside the plain band and she felt an impurity. Turning it to the light, she looked inside and saw an engraving, “This is forever, Bit.”

  Gasping, Ginger almost dropped the rings. Why would Shane’s pet name for her be written inside a ring secreted in Calvin’s drawer?

  This was so unexpected that she couldn’t even begin to figure it out. “Bit?” She heard the word, but thought it was in h
er mind. “Babe, you ok?”

  Spinning around, Ginger held her clasped hand to her cleavage and gaped at Shane who was loitering in the doorway and looking rather worried. “Shane, I…”

  “You ok?” he asked.

  He had a meeting. He was late. This meant… she didn’t know what this meant. Spreading a smile on her lips, Ginger turned to clear up the mess. “Yes, of course, I… just wait out there. I’ll be one sec.”

  Putting everything back as it had been only took a second. Glancing at the rings again, she couldn’t bring herself to put them in the drawer, so she put them in the pouch and dropped it into her pocket.

  Holding only the cufflinks, she hurried out of Calvin’s bedroom, and pushed Shane further into the hallway. “You sure you’re ok?” he asked.

  Grabbing his arm, she fastened one cufflink for him and then did the other. “Yes,” she said, her mind spinning. “Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

  “You seem freaked,” he said. “Are you still pissed about therapy? Babe—”

  “Shh,” she said, pressing a finger to his lips and gazing up into his eyes.

  He did look familiar and not just from the last few days. She could see something beyond the exterior, it was always there when she looked at him, that deep longing, the innate concern… the love.

  “Gin,” he murmured.

  Maybe he was right about her feelings, why else would she feel like she was looking into her home whenever she met his eye? Right now, it seemed like maybe he was the only one she could rely on. But she couldn’t be selfish about her needs. Their therapy session was still plaguing her mind, now she had to add this… whatever this new discovery meant.

  Shane’s meeting was important, so she took a breath and did what he would do in return, Ginger prioritized him over herself. “We’ll talk about that later,” she said. “You have to get going.”

  But he wasn’t quick to go. “If you want me to stay—“

  Smiling, she shook her head and pressed a hand to the line of buttons on his chest to admire him. “You look good,” she said and narrowed an eye. “Weird, but good.”

  “Weird?” he asked, straightening his cuffs. “Why weird?”

  “You just look… grown up.”

  He grinned. “Yeah, I guess you’re used to seeing me rolling around with Cam and Rocky.”

  “I like seeing you rolling around with Cam and Rocky,” she said before she thought about saying it. Ginger changed the subject before he could respond. “I haven’t spoken to Calvin about the cufflinks, but he won’t care. I got those one for him a million years ago and he’s never worn them, he won’t notice they’re gone.”

  “Ok, I don’t know what time we’ll be back. We’ll probably get dinner in the city.”

  Nodding, she was actually sorry to see him go, especially since she could do with a hug right now. Struggling to keep it together, Ginger tried to project happiness. “We won’t wait up.”

  “Hey,” he said, hooking a finger beneath her chin. “This isn’t like that. I’m coming home to you… I always come home to you.” She nodded and maybe he saw the wobble in her lower lip, but his gaze became more acute like he was peering into her.

  “Uh.” She cleared her throat. “Don’t forget to kiss Cam goodbye, he’ll miss you at dinner.”

  “I’ll miss him too. I’ll miss you both… If Rocky is too much—”

  “Please. He’s my baby too, we’ll be fine.”

  Shane seemed to like it when she acknowledged the dog as hers, and she had become quite attached to him. “You’ll probably be asleep when I get back,” he said. “If anything happens, I want you to call me, ok? Don’t hesitate, don’t think about the deal, just call.”

  “I don’t have a—”

  He handed her his phone. “Owen and Murphy will be with me, their numbers are in there. So if you need anything… I don’t care if it’s a glass of milk… you call me and I’ll come pour it for you, ok?”

  Oh, he was going to push her over the emotional edge. She’d thought she was having a productive day. As it turned out the more intensive therapy was making her confront demons she didn’t know she had. Ginger nodded. “I will.”

  He peered again and it was really unsettling because she felt unstable right now. Funny that she’d considered Shane the crazy one earlier when it turned out she was the bigger wreck. “You sure you’re ok?” he asked.

  “Shane!” Owen hollered from the bottom of the stairs. “We have to get moving!”

  Shane winced and began to hurry off. “Sorry, Bit, we’ll talk tomorrow, ok?”

  “Kiss Cam,” she said as a reminder when he was at the top of the stairs.

  Waving at her, Shane winked and ran down the stairs. Ginger looked over the railing to see him going to the fireplace. He ruffled Rocky’s fur then scooped up Cam who was trying to climb up Rocky’s back. Owen was at the door trying to hurry Shane out. “Do not get dog hair and baby drool on those pants,” Owen instructed and she hid her smile.

  “Should I ask Ginny for lipstick on the collar for the trifecta?” Shane asked, kissing and nuzzling Cam, showing no signs of being in a hurry.

  Her brother wasn’t impressed, but found the time to tease his friend. “You’re a real family man now,” Owen said. “You’re getting old, Shane, my friend.”

  “And loving it,” Shane said and she sighed.

  He said a long goodbye to his son making it obvious that he didn’t want to be parted from his child. Ginger’s heart lightened, until her hand slid down and touched the edge of her pocket. Lead formed around it that couldn’t be shifted even with the medication of watching father and son doting on each other.

  Shane put Cam down and glanced up at her, he stopped and held eye contact for a minute. Ginger had to hold back her tears, she had to, otherwise he’d never leave. Why did Shane have to be so… him, all the time?

  Just when she was losing the ability to hold her breath, Shane turned away and rushed out with Owen. Ginger had the place to herself. Her baby was healthy and life was supposed to be good.

  Except she was beginning to wonder if everything she’d known for the last sixteen months was a lie. If Shane had been right about that all along, what else had he been right about?

  Cam went down like a dream.

  Her son was a great distraction through dinner while Ginger did her best not to look at Calvin or Boyd. Every time she did, she found herself suspecting them both. Doctor Guinness was in good spirits, but having him around always made her feel scrutinized. She just felt like she couldn’t breathe.

  An employee snuck up at dinner to hand over an envelope addressed to her, luckily Calvin was on the phone when she opened it. Inside she found the cards that Shane had promised her, all emblazoned with the name: Ginger Warren. She was officially her again and apparently had means, though Ginger had no idea what she wanted to do with them. She felt stupid and insecure and couldn’t focus as speculation ran rife through her mind.

  As soon as she got back to the cabin, she got into the bath with Cam and played with him for longer than she should have while trying to keep her thoughts away from what she’d found in Calvin’s room. After their bath, she took the gauze from his head to let the healing injury breathe, then she and Cam had some fun figuring out how to use the camera on the Shane’s phone. They filled it with more pictures and videos of Cam than Shane would probably ever need.

  After Cam started yawning and got snuggly, she settled her baby to sleep in his crib much later than he would usually go down.

  Ginger had listened to everyone else go to their bedrooms. First Calvin and Boyd and then a long time after, Shane came back with Murphy and Owen. The men did their best to be quiet, said their goodnights in the hallway and then the house was silent.

  Yet, Ginger was still awake.

  The nightlight intended for Cam gave her a view of her ceiling, and of the rings she held in her hand. Squeezing them in her palm, Ginger closed her eyes tight and told herself to forget about them. They couldn
’t possibly mean anything. It was some coincidence, or maybe Calvin had found something Shane had dropped when they arrived. Or maybe the pet name meant nothing and she was reading too much into this.

  Lying here, trying to convince herself of something that could be easily cleared up was dumb. Ginger was just too afraid to confront it, except she was supposed to be taking control of her life. When she’d been afraid before she signed her life over to Calvin and allowed him to make all of the decisions.

  After the divorce paper debacle, she’d told Doctor Guinness she was going to go with her gut and be proactive. That she was going to do what was right and be decisive for the sake of her son.

  If she didn’t clear this up, she would never sleep, she’d be a mess tomorrow, and everyone would know something was wrong, which could lead to another blow out and she didn’t want that to happen in front of Cam.

  Drawing in a breath, Ginger sat up, deciding that she wasn’t going to wait any longer. After checking on Cam, she locked her outer bedroom door and went through the bathroom to get to Shane’s bedroom, leaving both bathroom doors open in her wake.

  Shane’s room was dark, the only light came from the dim nightlight in her room. He’d been home for a couple of hours and was fast asleep on his front, lying on the edge with his arm hanging off. From the gentle snore, she knew he was asleep and he looked so peaceful that she considered leaving him. But when she squeezed the rings again, she knew she couldn’t turn her back now.

  Locking his main bedroom door without his permission, Ginger crept over to his bed, past his loose arm, and crouched next to his face.

  Brushing his hair from his forehead, she smiled, for the first time all night, she felt calm. One way or the other, she was about to find out if her worst fears were coming true.

  “Shane,” she whispered, scratching a finger over his cheek to his lips. “Boo, honey, wake up for me.” He grumbled and she switched on the night light in the socket beside his charger. “Shane?”