Go Full Circle (A Go Novel Book 5) Read online

  That was code for “don’t leave Harlow alone with Ryske.” They knew the setup. No matter how much Ophelia believed that Ryske was into her, she still wouldn’t let them be left alone. Harlow wondered what Ophelia feared. What was it that she was supposed to do to Ryske, against his will, that he couldn’t fight off?

  2

  Ophelia left the room. Harlow didn’t even have a chance to turn all the way back around before Ryske was rushing over to the couch.

  “Move your fucking ass,” Ryske said to Penzance who was already sliding away to the other end of the couch, giving Ryske room to sit beside her.

  “You know—”

  Harlow’s words were cut off by Ryske scooping a hand around her head. Bypassing her jaw, he cupped her head beneath her ear and forced her mouth to his. Just as she’d thought. He didn’t give her an opportunity to refuse his kiss. He wasn’t subtle or playful or hesitant. There was no touching her lips and stroking her; he just took what he wanted without teasing or waiting for an invitation.

  Planting her hands on his chest, Harlow pushed back. Not that her resistance discouraged him. Ryske persisted. With his body looming over hers, there wasn’t much space to go anywhere. Especially not while he was using his strong grip on her head to direct her.

  “Trink, there’s no time for coy,” he said and tried to force her mouth up again.

  “There’s no time for that either,” she said and pulled a USB from her cleavage to slip it into his pocket. “There are records from the company, financials mostly. I don’t know exactly. I don’t think everything is there, but if Maze can—”

  Ryske kissed her again, driving his tongue so deep in her mouth that she had to gasp for breath.

  She pushed harder to separate them, ducking her head down at the same time. “My boss thinks you can’t defend yourself against me,” Harlow teased, taking Ophelia’s order as an aspersion on her scruples not Ryske’s. “Just call out for help if I touch your winkie.”

  “Touch it,” he said, letting go of her face to grab her hand to press it against his fly.

  “Please don’t,” Penzance groaned. The nausea in his tone made her smile.

  Harlow took her hand back, but not because of Penzance. “I’m not getting you hard for her,” she objected, stealing his hand to present his bandages between them. “What happened here?” Ryske tugged his hand from hers, but she wouldn’t give up so easy and hauled it back to her. “You’re fighting again.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “That’s what you said to her,” Harlow said, touching the graze that was on his cheekbone just beneath his eye. “I’m not her. Answer me, Crash. Are you fighting again?” He nodded, so she smacked his chest. “Why are you so goddamn angry all the time?”

  “Why?” he asked, pushing away from her. His face contorted with rage. “Why?” He flew off the couch to pace to the fireplace and back to her, thrusting an arm toward the hallway door. “I want to break her neck… You know how easy it would be to—”

  “Don’t,” she said, thrusting to her feet. It wasn’t easy to argue in these hushed snaps of anger, but she wasn’t going to bend or shrink just because he was having a fit. “Don’t you dare think about fucking this up.”

  Ryske got in her face. “You have two choices, babydoll. Either I fuck her or I kill her. Those are your options. Decide.”

  “No,” she said, shoving his arm down. “My options include reminding you that it sickens me to see you touching her. You think it’s easy for me to be ignored by you? Do you think I like watching you hold her and kiss her and—”

  “Then let me—”

  “No,” she said, a little louder than maybe she should have, so she lowered her volume again. “You are going to toe the line because it’s what we do.” She showed him her stars. “Have you ever fucked up a job before?” His lack of response was response enough. “Why start now?” Much as she could match his anger, she could also match his frustration. It was that which made her soften to touch his jaw. “I know what you feel. I feel it too. I feel it every time she makes a jibe about us or she belittles me. I think about how easy it would be to choke her. But transfer of ownership will take maybe as much as another two weeks. I told you, we’re playing this straight until then. I will take her crap. I will do my best to gather all the intel I can. You will do your best to be attracted to her new powerful side.”

  “It’s never been like this before,” he said.

  She hated to see him on the edge of defeat. “Because we’ve never had to do this before,” she whispered, moving in closer, sliding her other hand over his stubble. “Not like this… If it’s too much, don’t come back.”

  That made his attention snap up. “What?”

  “If you can’t handle this… If seeing me and being nice to her is making you so angry… Go and don’t come back… I’ll find you when I’m done.”

  The way he gripped her waist tight betrayed that his determination was returning. “I’d rather see you for five minutes once or twice a week, and not be able to touch you, than never see you at all.”

  They didn’t usually have any excuse to touch or kiss. Harlow had only had the pleasure of his mouth one other time since leaving the club on the night Ophelia had won her.

  “I want to see you too. God, Crash, I miss you so much,” she murmured. “It gives me strength to be close to you. You remind me why we’re doing this, what I’m doing this for.”

  He kissed her. Slipping her hand under his tee-shirt, she scratched his abs. Her nails on his tattoos had always had the effect of soothing him; he needed that medicine now.

  “Have you been touched?” he asked, searching her gaze. “I need to know you’re okay here.” He glanced at Penzance. “Is that fucker looking after you?”

  “He does his best,” she said.

  Harlow had made the suggestion of Ryske getting Penzance a job with Ophelia, so her love would have backup. Yet, he’d ended up protecting her. Penzance was the closest thing she had to an ally on the inside. They’d never worked together before. She hadn’t known him well, which meant she’d had no idea how reliable or how talented he was.

  Harlow was pleased to be surprised, not only by his professionalism, but by his skills. Penzance was good. He knew when to be indifferent, what to pretend to miss, and what to see. He managed to maintain his loyalty to Ophelia without making the woman question it, even though he was obvious about developing a friendship with her.

  “If you ever need out, you just walk,” Ryske said. “You know we’ll find a way to fix it. Your safety—”

  “I can take care of myself, Crash. You know I can. Living with Brash is no picnic. Ophelia put me with him so he could watch me.”

  “Yeah,” Ryske said, clenching his jaw. “How often?”

  “You have to stop worrying about my body and what’s happening to it,” she said, cradling his hands in hers to show his bandages. “Worry about yours. Stop fighting, Ryske.”

  His jaw tightened. “I have to do something,” he hissed. “I can’t sit there with the acid eating through me… Do you know what it does to me to be kept away from you? Do you know how I drive myself nuts thinking you might need me and I might not be there?”

  “It’s what you expected me to do when we thought she’d want you,” Harlow said. “We thought you’d have to go to her bed and we reconciled ourselves to that.”

  “Wow,” Penzance said, drawing both their attentions. “You guys are fucking solid, aren’t you?”

  Harlow smiled while Ryske just ignored him. “That’s not the same. Do you know what these bastards could do to you?”

  “Do I know?” she asked, almost offended by the suggestion she was naïve. “Do I fucking know?” She socked his shoulder. “Want to take off your shirt and I’ll give you the rundown on the PTSD I’ve gotten from your scars? Passing out is easy, Crash. Dying is easy. You did both and I was the one left behind.”

  “Baby—”

  When he tried to touch her face, she bloc
ked his arm and thrust it away. “Do you remember the night you came back to life? Seeing that man force himself between my legs? Do you remember what he tried to do to me?”

  The question was rhetorical. If he had forgotten, he couldn’t love her as much as he’d claimed to in the past. “Trink—”

  “Don’t you fucking dare tell me I don’t know; don’t even imply it. I know exactly what these men are capable of, and I know exactly how to fight for myself.”

  Ryske lost his softness and got defensive. “And if they drug you? If they beat you? How many guys does Brash know? How many guys could he bring back to—”

  “I would beg every single one of them to fuck me before I’d even think about letting down my crew.”

  He stepped back, his head moving side to side. “Good,” he said, though he was still kind of shaking his head. “Thank you for telling me that, baby.” She wasn’t sure she liked the sinister calm that crept over him. “ ‘Cause it makes it easier to tell you the plan… If you’re not out of here within two weeks, I’m moving in… with her.”

  The statement felt more like a threat than a plan.

  The implication that he’d give himself to Ophelia in defiance of what she was doing prickled her anger. “You’re going to sleep with her.”

  The curl of a laugh left the corner of his mouth. “Oh, I’m gonna do more than that, baby,” he said, swaggering to her. “I’m going to make love to her like it’s my wedding night with you. I’m going to make her fall so goddamn hard that she’ll be begging me to put a ring on her finger again. She won’t just get the Ryske experience, she’ll get me, all of me. Fidelity. Forever.”

  “Why would you do that?” she asked, angry and heartbroken both at the same time. “Why would you—”

  “Because we all agreed way back when that there were only two paths out of here. We take her down or we give in.”

  “Giving in means giving her you,” Harlow said.

  “She’ll never hurt you again; never come near any of you. If she has me, she’ll think she’s in control, and she’ll be happy. That’s all she wants.”

  “All she wants is you,” Harlow snapped. “For you to be at her sexual beck and call, remember?”

  “It’s more than sex,” he said. “You told me it was love… There’s a difference between the two.”

  It was cruel to imply she needed to be told that. His jibe just stoked her infuriation. “You can’t make yourself fall in love with her, Ryske. That’s impossible.”

  “What I feel is irrelevant,” he spat. “You’ve taught me that just by being here. You’ve taught me over and over again that my feelings mean nothing.”

  Her anger left her as her mouth opened; hurt took its place. “Crash, how could you—”

  “I told you I would take your place… you never listened.”

  “This isn’t about jail.”

  “No, it’s not,” he said. “But if you’d listened to me before I died and just stayed with Marlowe—”

  “Oh my God,” she breathed and then pushed his chest. “You asshole, we are not going all the way back there. I am not the person he wanted me to be. I am not the person you thought I was back then either. Why the hell would you ask me to apologize for loving you? I’m so sorry I ruined your fake death.”

  “If you’d just done what you were told, what we discussed, you’d be safe now.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  This conversation would take longer than the time they had. Penzance must have realized the same thing. The couch moved at the back of her legs until the denim of his jeans met her skin. Her ally had shifted back along to his previous position.

  “You’d never have gotten involved with Ophelia, or Parratt, or Pothos. You’d never have wound up in jail, or the fire, or the hospital.”

  Ryske didn’t just mean if she’d done what she was told. He meant if they’d never met. If they’d never fallen for each other. And he wasn’t wrong. If she had never met Ryske, or had returned to Rupert, many things would be different.

  Hagan might be alive; the evidence room guard too. The fire might not have happened. Floyd’s might be intact. Anwen wouldn’t have come out of hiding and she wouldn’t have endured the horrific beating at Animal’s hands.

  Ryske seemed satisfied that he’d made his point and turned to begin walking away.

  Harlow’s quiet voice broke the silence. “If I had stayed with Rupert, we wouldn’t have found each other again or made love in my parents’ house either. We wouldn’t have seen the potential of what we could be.” He moved in an arc until he faced her. With a new fuel in her fire, she raised her arm to show her stars again. “I wouldn’t have these. My sister wouldn’t have her future secured. My crew would have stayed ripped from their home… Yes, Ryske, lots of shit has happened to us, but I wouldn’t trade a second of my time in jail or hospital if it meant sacrificing one that I had with you.”

  There was only a moment of time for him to respond if he wanted to. Except it seemed he didn’t. He said nothing and only became more intense. Harlow dropped onto the couch next to Penzance who put an arm around her. Their position was exactly the same as before, Ryske’s too. Like it had been planned, Ophelia returned in that moment.

  “That was irritating,” Ophelia said, striding across the room to return to Ryske’s side. “I’m sorry, sweetie. Forgive me for abandoning you?”

  “Yeah, he ignored us underlings,” Penzance said. “Har and I made out to pass the time. It’s fine.”

  Ophelia slid an arm around Ryske’s waist. “My Ryske has time for people from all levels of society. Don’t you, honey?”

  Her Ryske. It almost made Harlow laugh again. The woman didn’t have a damn clue who he was. He could be her prince, sure, but he could also be her worst enemy. Harlow knew that from personal experience.

  “What a guy,” Penzance said in such an ambiguous way that it could be taken as truth or mocking.

  Ophelia chose to take it as the first. At least, she didn’t care enough to pay attention to him or respond.

  “I can make it up to you,” Ophelia said, sliding a hand across Ryske’s chest and then letting it descend his torso. “If you want to come through to my bedroom—”

  “I’ve got places to be today,” Ryske said, snapping out of whatever trance he’d been in for long enough to kiss the top of Ophelia’s head. “Another time.”

  “Next time?” Ophelia asked, following him when he started for the door.

  “Yeah,” Ryske said. “Maybe. Take it easy, Fi.”

  The door slammed and Harlow didn’t bother to turn around. He was gone. His departure was far from discreet. She just wished he hadn’t left her with this damn anger and all these questions. Could he really give himself to Ophelia? If it saved her life, he could, but this wasn’t about life and death. Being there was an inconvenience. Harlow was watched and chaperoned every minute, but she wasn’t afraid.

  It hadn’t been about life and death not until he’d said he’d give his life to Ophelia. That was the reality of what he’d suggested. He didn’t mean he’d sacrifice his life, he meant he’d give Ophelia the future that he’d once promised to Harlow.

  3

  Harlow was still getting over what Ryske had said about her returning to Rupert when Ophelia appeared around the end of the couch. Strolling along, she was loose and sighing like a woman in the clutches of new love. Although, in truth, what she was going through was far from new. Ophelia had wanted Ryske for as long as she’d known him.

  “I often wonder,” Ophelia said, continuing her glide all the way to the fireplace where she traced a finger along the mantel. “How do you feel when you see me with him?”

  Harlow looked up just as Ophelia turned to show her subdued, yet curious, smile. Ophelia was great at talking about herself and that was usually the context in which she brought up Ryske. She’d mentioned her feelings, and what she thought of Ryske’s, but she’d never been so direct in asking Harlow about her perspective.

&
nbsp; “What do you want me to say, Ophe?”

  “Do you ache when you see him?” Ophelia asked.

  Harlow knew what answer she wanted to hear and imagined it would give Ophelia great pleasure to see Harlow broken and begging for mercy.

  Instead she muttered, “Yeah, I never did get over that yeast infection.”

  Penzance laughed, but Ophelia huffed, taking great offense. “You’re so rude.”

  “I’m rude?” Harlow said.

  Ophelia sucked in a breath and stormed away, slamming into the hallway, leaving Harlow alone with Penzance. There was no real hurry for either of them to be anywhere. At least, there was none for her to be anywhere. She appreciated Penzance not getting up to run away; he was the only thing she had resembling a friend nearby.

  “You are a little bit rude, you know,” Penzance muttered out the corner of his mouth.

  With a smile, she nudged her elbow into his ribs. “Do you blame me when there are so many assholes around here?” she asked and then rested her head on his arm. “Except you. You’re not an asshole.”

  He slapped a hand to his chest. “Oh, you wound me. I’ll just have to keep trying.”

  “Please don’t,” she said and closed her eyes.

  Dropping her guard wasn’t usually an option. Even in spite of her trust in Penzance, Harlow wasn’t wild about the idea of him knowing she was gathering herself. It helped that he couldn’t see her face in this position. Sometimes she got so tired of being alert all the time. Napping meant giving someone the chance to catch you unaware, so she wouldn’t let herself do it.

  “Wish I’d got to see more of you two together,” he said. “You’ve got some history. I could tell there was something weird about your relationship the night we met. You were like… connected. Even when he was flirting with Kylie and you weren’t even looking at each other, there was an awareness about you… I don’t think he meant what he said about Marlowe.”